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Friday introspeksi
11 October 2015 | Sunday, October 11, 2015 | 0 Sweet Cupcake
Salam :) okay finally the day has arrived! MCMS first ever production. Wuhoooo! Okay me and Shireen thick skinned gila. Datang lambat! Supposed to come at 1pm for exco and we told them we coming at 4.30pm. And when i was on my way, inside the train at serangoon going botanic, Hiddy asked me to buy bonquet of flowers for Fatin and Faiq at clementi mall. Sooo... instead of alighting at botanic, i alighted at Buona vista and then went to Clementi mall. Waited for Shirz then we went to find flowers. Well, im not well verse in choosing and picking of flowers. Bcause... i dont like flowers? Hahaha! Luckily Shirz and Shazwin were there to help. Off we went to school then reached ard 5plus. Selamba je masuk. Helped around emmm, actually didnt really do anything much ah. Heh! ard 7, guests started to come in. And Fareez still belum sampai! Ishh budak ni!

Had to do my work which is being an usher so couldnt sit with him. Me and Shireen being ushers so kaycohhhh 😂😂😂 and i was very near to falling and rolling down the steps bcause my skirt kinda long :/ we didnt get to sit down and watch so tengok berdiri je. Theres Kak Rau and several Al Fitwah members. Wahhhhh macam reunited gytu and i finally see who FF is. Heeh okay luh normal je? 

Once the show is over, i thought can go back already sekali we all kena networking dah. Alamak! Sooo
... everyone were talking to each other and i stand there awkwardly dont know who to talk to even though Shireen and the rest were there. Kak Rau called me to have Al Fitwah group photo. Yay, alhamdulilah found my 3rd family :) heh! Talked to them awhile and Adibah tegur me. In my heart i was like siapa sehhh ni but i just talk normally. Then i only realised it was her after i reached home 😡 wanted to talk to her more!

Alright, everything went well and had debrief
 Cabbed home with Amirah and sister. Reached lambat jugak eh. Penat but alhamdulilah. Tmrw another networking session with Mendaki. At furama hotel yaww!! Am going just for the buffet 😉😉😉

Keliru
02 October 2015 | Friday, October 02, 2015 | 0 Sweet Cupcake

Aku keliru. Keliru dengan perasaan aku sendiri. Keliru tentang perasaannya padaku. Siapa aku di hatinya? Siapa aku dalam hidupnya? Fikiranku semakin bercelaru memikirkan tentang ini.
Kadangku cuba untuk menidakkan perasaan yang ada, kadangku cuba untuk menghapuskan perasaan ini, agar perasaan itu tidak terus membuatku lemah dan akhirnya kecewa.
Mungkinkah aku hanya teman bicaranya ketika dia keseorangan? Mungkinkah aku hanya sekadar persinggahannya? Atau mungkin juga aku dianggap sebagai kawan sahaja? Ahh! Begitu rumit untuk berbicara tentang hati. Ada baiknya aku mengambil setapak kebelakang atau perlukah aku mengundur diri, memberi ruang agar dia tidak tersepit?
Salahku juga kerana membiarkan perasaan ini berbaja di hati. Silapku juga kerana terus membiarkan rindu ini mengetuk pintu hati.
Cukuplah hanya sekadar kawan?  Berhentilah hati daripada terus meraih secebis kasih sayangnya. Jangan berharap yang dia akan menyayangimu. Kerana, diri yang menyayangi belum tentu akan disayangi.