I remember 2 years ago during Ramadhan, i was extremely busy. I thought i can do it but i was having too much on my plate, wearing alot of different hat. Everything else was the priority except for myself. Arwah nenek was in KTPH and everyday without fail we visited her before  going back to prep for iftar. Had to sqeeuze time to study for my finals (last paper in uni) and at the same time, planning and executing Ramadhan activities in masjid. Also, had to finish up cakes and cookies orders. Ohh, it didnt stop there, my sister take sampul raya orders too! Imagine cutting, pasting and folding 1000 pieces of sampul raya till 4am, right before sahur. On top of all these, there is also family time, relatives and friends.  I remember that i literally cry after solat, asking Him to ease my affairs. I remember ranting to Him that i couldnt do all these anymore and that i need the strength from Him to continue. I remember my doa that moment is for Him to bless my time so that i can continue helping others and also self-care. Bcause deep down, i enjoy doing all that. 🌹

This year, Ramadhan will be different. I do not need to go to and fro hospital but at the same time i lost someone very very precious and dear! This year Ramadhan, i do not need to study for my final bcause i have graduated. & this year, i cant go to masjid to help for iftar, terawih or even qiyam. This year, i stop taking orders too. Indeed, Allah answer my prayer. He ease my affairs and that now, i have more time for myself to improve and be better. Bismillah! 🌹

Ramadhan Kareem everyone🌹

And i love our tafsir classes bcause i have been wanting to go for one but its so difficult to find one in Singapore. So, for past few weeks, i have been baking and cooking and reading my novel. I should actually take this opportunity to finish writing my novel. Oh god, im like more than half way done but i jst dont have any idea to continue the story. Ya Allah, one of my bucket list is to publish my own novel...maybe i should bake/cook less and focus on finishing the manuskrip instead. But.. i dont have the motivation sehhh and all my novel dah abis di baca and takde inspirasi langsung. One fine day... insyaAllah!

Im planning to cook chicken green curry but im so lazy to go ntuc and i dont enjoy eating outside food as much. Saving moneh for kawin, hahahaha! Sidetrack, missing my boo bery much. 

Sekian.

Thank you for accepting me; my flaws, my weaknesses, my ego, my mistakes, my insecurities and most importantly, thank you for seeing the imperfections in me and still love me very much. I never thought that you will mean a lot to me and i never want to lose you.. I want to hold you tight in my arm and never let go. 

I have always been in doubt and in hesitation whenever it comes to relationship but i feel calm and at peace when I am with you. Isnt it weird? Seeing your name pop up on my phone excites me and reading your text makes me smile from ear to ear.  Trust me when i say im not clingy, because i am not and im kinda independent lady , but when im with you, tetiba gedik semacam. Miang pun ada jugak, ya Allah! Hahaha, i just want to talk to you everyday and see you every night. i just want you by my side, pls dont leave me! OMG! Im not clingyyy!! *in denial*

I know that this is only the beginning and there will be a lot of conflicts, arguments, misunderstandings, miscommunications, fights and etc in the future. I know that along the way, things wont be smooth sailing.  I just hope that you wont give up on me because i wont, insyaallah. I hope all the arguments will make both of us understanding each other better. Hold my hand and never let go, because you are the perfect mix, of everything that i have ever wanted. I saw something in you that i cannot live without. Bismillah to our new journey together 💖