It’s Monday, and i usually puasa Isnin-Khamis. Alhamdulilah, i was able to do it consistently for the past years and it is something that i really work hard to achieve since poly days. It is an ibadah which i really enjoy doing it. 

But today, im struggling. Im struggling to puasa one full day and that have been the case for the past few months when im pregnant. My first trimester was bad that i couldnt fast. Coming second trimester last month, i tried to fast.. ya Allah,  something that i could do so without any problem before become a struggle for me now.. i always get a bad headache and then i will vomit. My stomach feels empty and aching. Even just now to the point of wanting to do my prayer, i had to cepat cepat bcause tekak rasa mual and pening sgt. I wanted to prep myself for Ramadhan because ard May, i will be in my 3rd trimester and i dont know if i have the strength to fast (i really hope i can). But at least, i wanted to fast for the first few weeks if possible. Luckily im working from home, so i can at least rest and nap here and there. Im not sure how it will be once we get an office this Ramadhan.. I dont knw how other mum to be do it, but im struggling. Im trying to plan my ramadhan. Working, Cooking meals for iftar and sahur, ngaji/terawih etc etc.. what about my bake orders this year? I feel like its a good money and it will help my finance quite a lot but i dont even know kalau larat ke tak nak buat.

As im typing this, i cant stop myself from crying.. the headache is really aching very bad and i have yet to prep for breaking fast. Oh Allah, i need the strength..😔