Beeen a loooooong weeeeek. Super tiring and bussssyyyy but a goood busy i guesss. Well, lets start with work. Went back to office for the past few days bcause need to settle alot of thingss especially Ustazah's new book plus her new abaya line. There was one day that i was the last person to leave office and next day, Kak Jums update saying that the whole night office door tak tutup. Ya Allah!!! I didnt realised it was a new door so bila keluar nak kena tutup abis!!! Rabakkk sehh nasib takde apa apa jadi. Honestly, skrg mcm i prefer to be in office alone. I have missed physical events, all these while buat online its kinda draining (not saying that physical ones arent) but i miss the physical interaction with people! Also, there was one time last week, that i totally break down bcause of work. I guess i was mentally draining as it was back to back 10hrs of work so cepat trigger. And yes expectation leads to disappointment. Personally, life has taught me to expect less and yearp i did. It helpssss alot but kekadang tuh, akan ada certain things i expect alittle so in this case, i dah penat and all and i expect someone to send me home bcause we live jst a street away. But somehow, it didnt happened. Haha, padan muka and it hurts a little ah. Its petty but i guess when tgh penat, everything seems off. So i made my way back via train while carrying lots of things, crying inside a little. But oh well, i felt better after that but i need to remind myself dont hurt myself by expecting things from others. 

Things with K? Well, it has been an amazing journey with him. We actually did plan our wedding date and all but last week, we decided to cepatkan from 2022 to 2021. Awhhhhh, is definitely going to be a beautiful journey together, insyaAllah. Kinda looking forward for it. So both of us have been meeting with different vendors for the past week. Alhamdulilah so far so gooooood and we jst made a confirmation for our bridal. For me personally, i have trust issue. I would prefer to trust someone that either one of us knw than having strangers to be on it. 

Had a hard time choosing fr photographer. I was first leaning towards Photographer A then after meeting photographer B today, my heart is leaning to that. Im still asking around before i make decision. Well, K are okai with both so he ask me to make the decision.

 Ohh side track, tadi i made him pissed off with me. Bcause we were supposed to play this game but before we could, i answered a phone call and it turned out to be from some gov agency to do a survey and it took ard 10-15mins. He was annoyed bcause it was our time to spend together and yet i still layan this survey. Im soooo sorrrrry and i feeel bad! He was cold then but we were meeting the photographer B few mins later. Haishhh, this is the first time i nampak dia annoyed. Padan muka sis! But things were better bila dinner. Alhamdulilah. And ohh did i mentioned that i bump into my ex nya adik? Hahahaha small world, adoi!! 

Okai, im sleepy but tgh tgk bolaaaa. Esok gi masjid for meeting. Ohh, i dah bilang Ustaz abt me leaving end of this year and as much as he is sedih, he accepted it. So tmrw lepas meeting nak kena decide who to replace me... 

Hmmm lately i have been having this low self esteem. I mean i have always have that tapi sejak kebelakangan ni, makin menjadi-jadi. My insecurities on my physical appearence is super high. I dont feel attractive and sometimes i feel that i dont like how i look. And its kinda scary, especially thinking abt future. When i get married, what if he dislike my real not so pretty face, not so nice bodyy? 😔😔😔