I just finished another interview today, got one more tomorrow and another one next Wednesday. Alhamdulilah to be able to go to the interview walaupun might not be able to get the job. Before the first interview with G, i had to go through phone screening! Was happy got into interview but i felt that i screwed it. The interview was supposed to be ard 45 mins but mine was ard 1.5hrs sampai dah nak masuk waktu utk buka eh! This interviewer dari Indon sebab tuh the connection rabak and there was a part where his screened totally freeze and then he was kicked out of the zoom. Sis panic eh so i had to leave and enter the room again. honestly, he spent more than 30mins sharing abt G and his working style and second part of it was my turn to share abt myself. One of the question he asked was why did i resign before getting another job? hahahha, told him i needed the break. At the end of the interview, he gave feedback to me. He said all the good things abt me and pointed out that he is unsure if i can be firm and be the bad person bcause in HR, you need to do that. I was like eh actually true eh, dont think i can but i can try ah. & He said sometimes i share unnecessary things hahahaha (i talk alot luh). Then i maciam kehluh confirm cannot go second interview. But at the end, he said yes to me so must go second round where his colleague from India will interview. Wahhh! MasyaAllah! Kinda happy but then again, i was thinking if i can do this ke tak seh!

Today's interview was better because i get to share my experiences more and although there were 3 interviewers and felt intimidating at first, actually dorang chill je. I shared alot and they look okay eh. It was ard 40mins! One of them said that the has no question because the questions that he had was aldy answered during the intro abt myself hahaha (BISMILLAHI MASYAALLAH) ! Tengok luh dpt ke tak. 

Oh and i met bestfs yesterday! Finally, kinda miss them. Went to my house for dinner because 3 org tak boleh dine in yet and we beli Pizza Hut! Oh we were actually plan to order 3 Folks but all of us were on budget eh hahahah but still we bought pizza and sushi! It feels good to be able to catch up with them and we shared our current struggles. Its always to them that i can depend on alhamdulilah ya Allah! 

I have been getting abdominal pain for the past few weeks and yesterday, i cannot tahan as it felt worse. its like on and off so after the husband asked to go check, i decided to go clinic under my block. I really hope it is nothing serious and i planned to go for US tomorrow jst to make sure everything is okay. Do make dua for me :(

Assalamualaikum,

Today is already Nov and we have less than 4 months before saying goodbye to 2021. Cepat eh masa berlalu! Hows married life so far?

Past 2 months have been beautiful and i learnt alot about him. Those little habits and pattern i started to notice, im unlearning what i knew and what i thought i knew abt him before marriage because hey, change is constant. Diri kita bila sebelum kawin dan lepas kawin mmg berbeza, dari segi pergaulan, perwatakan dan persekitaran. Kalau dulu sebelum kawin, maybe i was particular with my schedule and i dislike last min cancellation but now, im adapting to last min plan bcause we both tend to make last min plan. Alhamdulilah, its been a beautiful journey learning abt each other. I admit sometimes my pettiness and merajukness got to go. I really think he is super sabar with my perangai and i will remind myself not to take advantge of  this. I learnt to communicate with him abt my displeasure and disagreement, especially on things that we have different opinions on. We learnt to negotiate, give and take and also rational reasoning. Truth to be told, im an emotional girl. My expressions are very big hence when Im happy, its obvious in my face but when i tgh merajuk or sedih, it will also be obvious, sama jugak dengan my personality. I can be super talkative and annoying but on the other hand, if merajuk, i wont even talk.. perhaps i have to work on the balance..

Ohhh, and alot of things happened at work. Its hard, i was torn in between but things went a little over board and it stretched my patience thin. But as of today, im officially unemployed. Its a big risky move i made without even having any new job offer. It was a difficult decision but im blessed that i have a strong support system to be vulnerable and hold on to. They supported my decisions and gave me words of encouragement. Perhaps, will share what happened in the next post, when im feeling better. Im still at lost as to how to grief.. why arent i grieving? Why do i look like im okay when i actually lost someone that was once important to me? Why did i not cry everyday? I dont knw what happened but a part of me feel relief, and another huge part of me still trying to grasp the reality and sink it in into my system. I have been vomitting for th past weeks and i felt that it was my body system signalling to me that im not okay. That it is part of the effect of physical grieving but i choose to ignore it and convinced myself that im okay. Oh wells, perhaps its a good short break that i deserve to retrospect things. Wallahualam Bi Shawab.